I intentionally decided to divert the discussion from work and health to family and relationships.
Ma, how were you able to cope with guys when you were single? seeing how beautiful you are now, and envisaging how you must have been in your twenties and thirties?
I do see how officers eye you even with your wedding ring, I added with light laughter.
She answered, Mobi don’t mind all those foolish men.
Funny enough when I was growing up I had so much attention as a young lady but never fell in love for once.
When I was growing up, my mom told me to love with my head, not with my heart..so I can’t remember being in love with any man.
Interesting, so how did you fall in love with your husband? I asked.
It sounds so awkward Mobi, but I never loved my husband before and after wedding.
My head started doing gbam gbam
She continued, I started loving him after our 3rd baby.
But ma, why did you marry him since you knew you didn’t love him?
Mobi of all the men that came for my hand in marriage, he was not the richest, but I saw a man that had visions and dreams. He was certain about where he was going to, so I chose him.
But ma it sounds selfish I said.
Yes Mobi, I was selfish.. which is why I keep regretting now.
Then, sex was a routine than pleasure. I gave it to him because it was my responsibility as his wife. I found it difficult to reply to his “I love you”.
But Mobi upon all the frustration I put him through, he never cheated on me..not even once.
He kept waiting for the day I would change and love him..he is indeed one of a kind, she started crying.
I was like, “Ma please stop crying before people start asking me what I did to a married woman”
After getting herself together, she continued, Now I’m madly in love with him..my love for him is now greater than his love for me.
But Mobi, never make that kind of mistake. Make sure you are certain of her love for you before you start thinking of getting married to her.
I give my children the same advice because getting married to someone that does not love you can lead to depression and frustration..sometimes even suicide.
1cor13:1-end says love is not selfish, not self centered, a productive love must be mutual.
It is not one sided.